Hey I guess today is my bad day ever . I'm crying right now . I'm insecure , sad , crying , emotional , stressed , anger , upset , jealousy , i don't know , I just feel so hurt right now , it's so hurt like someone stab me or hit me with a car . I don't try to make a joke or being sarcasm . It is me right now , I'm hurt once again . Sorry tears , I can't hold it too long anymore . I'm such a weak girl , I'm not strong . When I get sad , I go to my tumblr and reblog anything , then I cry in my room in the middle of the night then I hate to see your face at school , but I'd still want you to be right by my side . I just don't even understand what I feel right now . It's fucking hurt , guys . I think no one couldn't make me feel happy for now . I just feel upset and hurt like hell . I know I'm not supposed to feel it . Besides , I have no right . He's not mine . He's not mine . He is not mine . Just I can't and I couldn't explain how hurt it is . I don't blame on him of what happen to me now because it's not his fault . I'm the one who guilty because I fail not to fall in love with him . Believe me , I did try my best not to fall in love with him , but I just can't .
I can lie to everyone that I'm not hurt , I'm not upset . Same goes to my reaction . I act like nothing happen and hide everything inside my heart . I can't show off to peoples that I'm broken . I just can't . But heart cannot lie and same goes to my feelings . They can't lie . They just can't . So do I , I can't lie that I love you . Seeing you with another girls make me feels so insecure . I don't know what to do . So , I just see you from far . But , I don't know it could be this way . Like I really love you so much , like really - really fall in love with you . And feel so insecure , upset , unsafe when you with other girls who are prettier than me . I know that I'm not pretty . I'm not cute , skinny , perfect . If I being fake , it's not real namanya kan ? So , I just be the real me . I can't hold this tears for so long . I kept it for a long time . It's time to let go but why it's hurt too much ? I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU :'(
Can you show me how to love you in the right way huh ? I just can let you go and watch you with another girl :'(
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